Pieces on Earth Page 3

  Debbie's dark eyes twinkled with excitement. "My goal is to cheer you up. So I planned us a spa day, complete with massages and head-to-toe makeovers. After that, I thought we'd head out for some Christmas and clothes shopping, and lunch at that new bistro. I hear their mixed drinks are wonderful."

  Mixed drinks? Liv pasted a pseudo-smile on her face. She hadn't divulged her secret to anyone, so Debbie had no way of knowing that alcohol was on her "don't do it" list. Her thoughts returned to Debbie's other plans for the day. And to her overly expensive tastes. Exactly how much was all this fun and excitement going to cost her?

  Later that afternoon, Liv stared at her almost unrecognizable reflection in the dressing room of yet another designer boutique Debbie had dragged her to. Yes, the dress was beautiful and the perfect compliment to the new tawny streaks in her now non-frizzy hair. It would also be the perfect "welcome home" dress for when Jeff returned stateside. But she'd already bought two dresses, a pair of skinny jeans she had absolutely no chance of fitting in with her burgeoning belly, and had even splurged on designer gifts for family members that they probably didn't want or need. And to make matters worse, she had bought none of the winter or maternity clothes they actually needed, and the credit cards she and Jeff had worked so hard to pay off once more inched ever closer toward Never-never Land.

  Disgusted with herself, Liv yanked the clingy dress over her head and tossed it to the nearby silken bench. Within a few minutes, she was once more dressed in her normal attire and outside the dressing room where Debbie waited in a cushy chair.

  "The dress didn't work?"

  Liv shook her head. "Nope." That wasn't a lie. The price alone didn't work.

  Her friend frowned. "Hmm. I was almost positive that was the most perfect dress for you. I wish you would have showed it to me before changing clothes."

  Too bad. Liv held in a disgusted sigh. While at first this outing with Deb had been fun and relaxing, now the endless shopping wore on her nerves to the point she feared snapping.

  Debbie elegantly raised her tall, skinny frame from the over-stuffed and luxurious chair. "Ready to hit the next boutique?"

  "Mm, sure." Lord, please get me out of this. She followed Debbie out the front door and toward the red convertible. They'd just reached the car when her cell phone jangled its "School Days" tune. Liv frowned and dug around in her bag for the phone. Why would the school be calling? She climbed in the passenger side with an apologetic expression to Deb. "Sorry, this is the school, so I have to take it. Hello?"

  "Hi, Liv. This is Melissa from The Ark Christian Preschool. I just got word from the school nurse that Chesney is running a fever. I know you'd made other plans for this afternoon, but can you send someone to pick her up?"

  Her eyes widened. Whoa, that was one fast answer to prayer. She swallowed and sent Debbie yet another apology with her eyes. "No problem. It might take me a while to get there, but I'll come pick her up. Thanks for calling."

  The typical smile on Debbie's lips had faded, but she said nothing, her eyes hidden behind the over-sized designer sunglasses.

  Liv dropped her phone back in her bag and turned toward her friend"Chesney has a fever, so I need to go pick her up."

  Debbie just nodded and put the gently purring car into gear. "That's exactly why I decided not to have kids. They cramp your style in so many ways."

  Not sure of how to respond, Liv simply stared out the passenger side window all the way back to her parked minivan. Her dingy-but-serviceable van was yet another testimony to her boring life as compared to Deb's carefree and unencumbered lifestyle.

  Chapter Six

  Friday morning, after she'd dropped Chesney off at school and returned back home, Liv quickly clicked through the news headlines that accompanied her email inbox, scouring each article for some small bit of news that might relate to her husband. More beheadings committed against Christians in the Middle East at the hands of jihadists. More back and forth news of an economy that still bore signs of fragility brought on by the Twin Towers incident of 2001. More school shootings and church burnings. What was happening to their once relatively peaceful world?

  She frowned and clicked out of the frightening news and on her inbox, then quickly scanned the contents, without finding what she hoped to see. Another morning with no email from Jeff. While it wasn't entirely unusual for him to miss a couple of days of communicating with her, it did cause concern, especially in light of the world's bad news. What would happen to her and Chesney and their unborn child if he were killed in the line of duty?

  Familiar anxiety uncurled snaky tentacles and encased her heart, squeezing it tight. That's exactly what had prompted her to start her own photography business right after Jeff had left. It was too soon to see if the move would be profitable, but at least it offered some measure of hope.

  While Chesney had played at the beach this past Sunday, Liv used the time to capture photos of the beach. Devoid of summer vacationers, the area beaches resounded with peaceful sounds of ocean waves, crying gulls, and gentle winds. A sort of wild beauty of the beach they'd visited had captured Liv's awe and wonder as she'd snapped photo after photo of ocean waves, gnarled oak trees, and dead wood bleached white by the relentless sun and salty sea air.

  She'd uploaded some photos to various sites on the web, hoping they'd bring in a few bucks and get her work noticed. In addition, she'd built a simple website and started a Facebook page for her new business, LT's Photography. And just yesterday, a friend of a friend had called about her photographing a beach wedding in early December.

  Liv stretched out taut neck muscles by twisting her head from side to side. At least maybe it would help pay off the hundreds of dollars of credit card debt she'd racked up. And hopefully before Jeff returned home.

  She glanced at the clock. Time to leave for her first pottery class. Yes, it was yet another expense, but her purpose was two-fold. First, she wanted to create Christmas mugs for every member of her family--like those she'd found on Etsy--mugs that announced her good news at the bottom of each cup. Just the thought brought a smile to her face. Secondly, if she mastered pottery-making, maybe she could create items to sell online at some point down the road.

  Fifteen minutes later, Liv pulled up outside the storefront where The Potter's Hand pottery shop was located. She hurried inside and wound her way through the aisles of hand-tossed ceramic pottery and into the back room where Mr. Guthrie sat behind one of two pottery wheels.

  He lifted his white head as she entered the room and eyed her over the top of his half glasses. Bushy white eyebrows rose to greet her, and a kind smile tugged his mouth up at the corners. "Well, hello, Liv. Ready for your first class?"

  Liv nodded, more than a little nervous. "Definitely. I hope I'm at least somewhat good at this." A shaky laugh followed.

  He stood, rinsed off slimy clay fingers, dried his hands on a towel, then walked toward her with a hand outstretched. "You'll do fine."

  She clasped his hand in her own. "Thanks for making room for me in your schedule, Mr. Guthrie."

  "Call me Marty. Happy to do so. Now tell me more about these cups you're wanting to learn how to make."

  Liv reached for her Smartphone and quickly pulled up the picture she'd found online. "I'm expecting our second child and wanted to find a unique way to break the news to my family when we're together for Christmas."

  His smile broadened. "Congratulations. Nothing like a baby to bring joy and peace. I call 'em instant blood pressure medication." He released a gentle cackle and eyed the picture on her phone through the bottom of his glasses which sat halfway down his button nose. "Cute idea. I think that's definitely do-able by the middle of December." He motioned to the stool behind the second potter's table. "Have a seat and let's get started."

  With much attention to detail, he talked Liv through the process of wedging and throwing the clay. Then he demonstrated how to shape the cup as the wheel turned, expertly drawing the clay up vertically until a handle-less cup emerg
ed.

  Eager to give it a try, Liv followed the same steps as Marty, but instead of shaping the cup, the clay collapsed to one side, creating more of a school child's artwork than the pretty Christmas mugs she'd envisioned. She released disgust through her nose. "Why doesn't mine look like yours?"

  Marty laughed, his blue eyes a-twinkle. "Because I've had years of practice. Don't give up. You'll get the hang of it."

  For the rest of their time together, Liv tried again and again to fashion a cup. Her last attempt of the day came the closest to resembling a cup without a handle, but nothing she'd care to give as a gift. Before she left, Marty once more demonstrated the process with the marred clay. A beautiful cup emerged once more.

  Liv thanked him for his time, promised to return at the scheduled time the following week, and headed toward home, her mind on the pottery lesson. The process wasn't as easy as Marty Guthrie made it look. How he could take the same piece of clay that had produced nothing but flawed pottery in her hand and fashion it into a beautiful shape still awed her. Maybe she could indeed learn to make the cups in time for Christmas. And maybe--just maybe--God could take the broken pieces of her current life and mold it all into something beautiful. How, she didn't know, but if anyone was able, God was.

  * * *

  "Get a move on it, Missy." Liv playfully swatted her daughter's behind with the bath towel later that night. "We're already late for bedtime, so if you want a story you'd better hurry it up."

  Chesney quickly donned her pajamas, eyes shining. "Will you tell me a story from the big story? I can't wait to see what happens next."

  Liv smiled, happy this approach seemed to be working. "That depends. Do you remember what happened last time?"

  Damp red curls bouncing, her daughter nodded. "Yeah. Adam and Eve listened to the snake's lies, and disobeyed God's rule about the tree. They had to leave the perfect place God made for them."

  A few minutes later, Chesney and Liv once more reclined against the headboard of Chesney's bed. Liv opened her Bible. "Adam and Eve had two sons named Cain and Abel. Cain got jealous and angry at Abel, so he killed him. The world got so evil that God was sorry he had made man. He found a man named Noah who pleased him, so God told to Noah to build..." She intentionally broke off her sentence.

  "The ark!" Chesney's face glowed with her accomplishment.

  "Very good." Liv gave her daughter a high five. "After the flood, God put a promise of peace in the sky. Do you remember what that was?"

  "Yep. A bee-U-ti-ful rainbow." Her daughter comically over-pronounced the word, her arms spread open wide.

  Liv's thoughts immediately returned to her pottery making session. The story of Noah and the rainbow was a perfect example of how God could take a mess and bring about good. But what had to be destroyed for it to happen in her life?

  "Mommy, you said the rainbow was a promise of peace. What is peace?" Chesney's eyes held curiosity.

  Good question. Liv's mind shuffled through potential answers. "Well, people would probably say that peace is no war or bad feelings." But as usual, people's definitions weren't always what God had in mind. "And in the story of Noah's Ark it was a promise not to destroy the world with another flood."

  "Is that all peace is?"

  Obviously her young daughter didn't think so. Liv's thoughts returned to a discussion she'd had earlier that day with her mother on the topic of peace. How had she worded it?. "That may be part of it, but I think God would say that peace is the total wholeness and complete well-being of people in a right relationship with Him." Even as the words rolled from her lips from some place deep inside her, Liv knew her relationship with God wasn't what it was supposed to be. In her hurt and resentment, she'd pushed Him away. And somehow she needed to turn things right-side up again. But how? She gulped down the hard knot in her throat and looked over at her daughter.

  Chesney's eyes glazed over with the obvious need for sleep, so Liv closed her Bible, tucked her daughter under the covers, and quietly left the room, closing the door behind her. The discontinued train of thought over her relationship with God returned with sharp intensity. She released a weary sigh, the fatigue from her pregnancy and single parenting efforts muddling her brain. God, I don't know how to fix things, and I'm too tired to even try. Please show me what I can do, and give me the strength to do it.

  Liv made her way to the living room. A few minutes later she curled her legs to one side on the sofa and began clicking through television channels. Another typical long dragging night of life without her husband.

  Chapter Seven

  Liv brought a hand to her chest as though to stop the frantic pounding. "Please tell me this is some kind of sick joke and not the truth." She spoke the words into her phone with a nauseating feel in the pit of her stomach.

  "I wish I could tell you that, Liv, but Doug Skyped me last night. Debbie's husband was killed in Afghanistan." Darcy's voice held sorrow, and even through the phone, Liv could tell she was crying. "I knew you and Debbie had become good friends, so I called you first. She's going to need you to help her through this."

  Liv's thoughts went to her self-confident friend. If anyone could handle this, Debbie could. Right?

  "There's more."

  Her heart pounded even more furiously, until Liv thought it might rip itself from her chest. Was Jeff safe? "What?"

  "Joan's husband is apparently coming home, but from what Doug said, he is not the same person."

  Liv's knees buckled beneath her and hit hard against the cold tile floors. Tears began to flow down her cheeks. How could any of them survive any more destruction.

  "You still there, Liv?"

  Somehow she found enough of her voice to whisper a husky "Yeah."

  "I'm going to reach out to Joan. Will you do the same for Debbie?"

  How she didn't know, but she had to try. Darcy was right. For whatever reason, she and Debbie had clicked. Now Debbie needed her. "Yes."

  "I'll talk to you later."

  All Liv could do was nod. She dropped the phone to the floor and buried her face against her palms, sobs racking her body. After several minutes, she pulled herself from the floor with phone in hand and called her mom. She'd know the best way to approach the situation.

  "Hi Liv. What's up?"

  The story spilled from her lips. "What should I do to help Debbie, Mom? I feel like I'm barely holding on in all this, and I'm not sure I have anything to say or do that will help." Her words still trembled with barely-contained emotion.

  A heavy sigh sounded through the phone. "The best thing you can do is to give her a safe place to mourn. It won't be easy, but God will help you."

  Liv swallowed. "That's another thing. I've been so upset at God that I've shut Him out. I don't feel like my relationship with Him is what it should be. So how can I help someone else?"

  "Life is full of yuck, Liv. I know I don't have to tell you that, because you're living with a lot of it at the moment." She paused. "But you can't get stuck in the yuck. That's no way to live."

  A surprising smile curved her lips ever so slightly. Chesney would love that terminology. "But what can I do to get out of it?" The yuck was like quicksand. Once it grabbed hold, it sucked you down further and further until escape seemed impossible.

  "The best thing to do is live in the possibilities and hope God gives, while at the same time being grateful and realistic."

  Live in hope. Be grateful, but also realistic. Great advice, but incorporating it wouldn't be easy.

  "I know that's not easy, but it's the truth. Another thing that helps is to stop focusing on the storm and instead focus on the Stiller of Storms. Seek after God, not answers. He will help you."

  Yes, that was great advice. Not easy, but definitely true. For the first time since Darcy's disturbing phone call, she felt a little more at peace. "Thanks, Mom. I knew you could help."

  A tender laugh sounded. "That's what moms are for." Again her mother paused. "I'm not quite sure how to say this, Liv, but it needs t
o be said."

  "It's okay. Say it."

  "It's easy in your situation to focus on yourself. And while a little bit of self-care is needed, don't go too far with it. One of the best ways to stay out of your own yuck is to help others through theirs."

  Liv gave her mother's words quick consideration. "More good advice, Mom. I just hope I can carry through with it." After all, how could you see through the dark fog of your own pain to help others? Wasn't that just another case of the blind leading the blind?

  * * *

  All day Liv struggled between the need to call Debbie and the reluctance to do so. On one hand, she truly wanted to help, but wouldn't her own pain and fear only make matters worse? Several times she picked up her phone, but each time failed to follow through. Later that night, she sat down with Chesney to continue the story. "Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Judah--as good as they could sometimes be--were also broken people, just like all the ones who had come before them." Liv could see questions in her young daughter's eyes.

  "Did God glue them back together like when I broke that little statue on your dresser?"

  Liv laughed. "Well, He helped them through their brokenness, but He also made promises to them--just like he did to Adam and Eve--that the Fixer would come through their family some day. They waited and waited for the Fixer to come during their lifetimes, but everyone of them died without the promise coming true."

  A sudden flash of anger lit Chesney's eyes. "You always tell me not to make promises I can't keep."

  "That's true. But God didn't break the promise. He just delayed in sending the promise."

  "But why?"

  Liv shrugged. "I guess because He wanted people to learn to trust Him to do what He said He'd do. Besides that, it might not have been time. God sees everything, and He loves us very much. So I'm sure He had good reasons." She skewed her lips to one side and tried to think of an analogy. "It's like the promise Daddy gave you before He left. He told you that he'd be back. He hasn't broken his promise. It's just not time yet."